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| the birthday girl, after her 6am bath |
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| Mummy's first cuddle with little Emmy-boo |
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| Mummy and her not-so-little Emmy-boo at 1yo |
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| Me and BOTH of my 'babies' |
Showing posts with label aftermath. Show all posts
Showing posts with label aftermath. Show all posts
July 10, 2011
My... how fast they grow
I never actually made a blog post about Emersyn turning 1 - and it happened 3 weeks ago now... Oooops. On June 13 - true to form, we had two big aftershocks [5.5 and 6.3] - both of them I was in the car, and SEEING the earthquake actually happening really did scare the sh.t out of me, and after the second quake, I decided that was that - we were heading out of town.
So began our whirlwind - puke filled, ear infected, car sickness-ee 5 day getaway, which I hate to say really took the shine off it being Emersyn's first birthday. The day we drove to Wanaka Emersyn vomitted in the car, the day before her birthday she woke up with a raging ear infection, the morning OF her birthday she woke up covered in vomit and diarrhoea... so really it wasn't a memorable [in a good way] birthday for her. That said, I did get to share the birthday girl with her Great Grandma and her Aunty Terri and cousin Bronny - so it did have its highlights. She started getting better the day before we left to go home, but then on the trip home Gaby was carsick for the very first time. Did I mention it was all in our NEW car?
As lovely as it was seeing all our family down that way it was nice to get home, and strangely I have to admit that I MISSED Christchurch while we were away. With all the footage on the news about the recent big aftershocks, there wasn't really a chance to 'get away' from the quakes, and all the distance really served to do, was make me feel guilty that I had 'run away', when there were sooooo many people up here cleaning up for the third time. The streets were full of liquifaction - it really was horrible. Seeing it on the news just made me feel sad.
The past year has gone by so fast - I think that by the time I got out of the 'newborn fog', the September earthquake happened, and ever since then the earth has been regularly shaking and our lives have been turned upside down at times. In a way I feel like I missed a lot of Emersyn's first year - I was so focused on other things a lot of the time, that I don't feel like I took the time to enjoy the small things. But on the other hand - my thousands of photos of her first year tend to tell a different story.
May 23, 2011
Forever marked...
Today there is a global telethon fundraising event, to raise money for the Christchurch Earthquake Relief fund, I started watching the coverage on TV at 9am when it began - and quickly realised just how much the quake has effected me, and that I'm forever marked, forever changed by it. My family and I got off lucky, compared to a lot of people, a lot of families... But there is still a lot of grief I feel, a lot I don't understand, a lot I can't comprehend.
I am forever changed, my family is forever changed, my neighbourhood is forever changed, my city is forever changed - my country is forever changed... and to be right in the middle of such a life changing event, it really is impossible to try to describe how it makes you feel.
Watching the coverage this morning, they were showing some new footage of the CBD, and everytime you see new footage, it's like you are witnessing the whole thing for the first time... I see buildings I used to walk past everyday when I was working in the CBD - and they are destroyed, if it wasn't for a bit of signage on the ground next to it, or the colours they're painted - you just wouldn't know what building you were looking at. Areas that I used to stroll through, shops I used to wander into for an innocent look around - shops and areas I never REALLY paid attention to, that I took for granted, are just GONE...
What is really hard to see, is the businesses that look as though they've been frozen in time (and I guess in essence they have been) - cafe's and restaraunts with tables & umbrella's still outside, businesses with their 'open' signs still showing, businesses advertising a sale that was on at the time of the quake, or a sale which was starting soon after. It really is like life is frozen in time... someone pushed the 'pause' button.
Possibly the hardest buildings to look at - are the buildings that are no longer there, because you know that there is a huge likelihood people lost their lives in the buildings that once stood. I find it impossible to not cry when I see the site of the CTV building, I believe 116 people died in that paritcular building - people from our local TV station (CTV), people from an English language school, people from a doctors surgery which moved in there after damage to their original building because of a big aftershock on boxing day. That doctors surgery is the one that my Dad was a patient of. It is the one my Dad had had an appointment at, and left 20 minutes before the quake hit.
My Dad is alive & kicking - just as Dad-ish as ever, but I cannot for the life of me, stop wondering what would have happened had he actually been caught in the building on that day. Would he have gotten out? Chances are he wouldn't have. In the same way I think that, I can only imagine that people who did lose loved ones in the quake, spend time wondering what would have happened if their Mother/Father/Sister/Brother/friend had had a later appointment, or an earlier appointment, had an earlier or later lunch break, had plans to meet someone earlier or later.... There are so many what ifs - on both sides of the fence, those who experienced the loss of a loved one, and those who didn't.
Of course damage & devestation weren't limited to the CBD - all over the city there are buildings destroyed, lives destroyed - many such examples are in my own suburb of Avonside. The name is part of the reason why. Avon Side. the Avon is a river that runs through Christchurch - and my suburb is very close to the river, to the point that there are houses along the banks. Because we are so close to this body of water, our land is softer - and driving through my suburb there are a lot of houses which now have a big lean on. From my driveway I can see one such house, which is now leaning so far to the right, it is touching the house next door. In the other direction there are 4 houses which have also been red stickered - and those houses are leaning slightly to the left or right - but also leaning forward, so the front of the houses are sunken into their front yard. These houses are very close to the river. Driving further along the river I noticed a group of houses - I would say at least 10, closer to 15 - and ALL of those houses also have their fronts sunken into the ground, again they are right on the river. There are also a lot of streets you just cannot drive along - they've been closed for 3 months now.
I've decided I'm going to get a tattoo as a bit of a symbol of the earthquake - it made a huge mark on me & my city - so why not actually physically MAKE a mark? I am the type of person who cannot push influential events to the back of my mind - I have tattoo's for my nephew & my angels, I have a tattoo for my Grandfathers who have passed away - I have a tattoo for Gaby (and will soon have one for Emersyn)... this earthquake has made as much of an impact on my life, though in different ways - so it feels just to me, to get a tattoo. I believe a lot of people in Christchurch have done the same thing, or plan to.
When thinking about the aftermath of the earthquake, one phrase comes to mind - one phrase that has been the glue that has held our damaged community together, a phrase which as given us the strength to look forward. KIA KAHA. Kia Kaha, when translated from Maori to English means 'Be Strong' - which seems very apt when thinking about our situation. I recently took my first walk through the CBD - as far as I could anyway, and at the cordon I burst into tears, on the corner there used to stand a tattoo parlour - where I had two of my tattoo's done, on the day of the quake the building crumbled, and when running outside, one of the tattoo artists was killed, by falling masonry. All along that stretch of buildings there is nothing but devestation, however on the fence, someone had used ribbon to spell the words 'Kia Kaha'... it was so moving to see - our words of empowerment, and the backdrop of the devestation
I am forever changed, my family is forever changed, my neighbourhood is forever changed, my city is forever changed - my country is forever changed... and to be right in the middle of such a life changing event, it really is impossible to try to describe how it makes you feel.
Watching the coverage this morning, they were showing some new footage of the CBD, and everytime you see new footage, it's like you are witnessing the whole thing for the first time... I see buildings I used to walk past everyday when I was working in the CBD - and they are destroyed, if it wasn't for a bit of signage on the ground next to it, or the colours they're painted - you just wouldn't know what building you were looking at. Areas that I used to stroll through, shops I used to wander into for an innocent look around - shops and areas I never REALLY paid attention to, that I took for granted, are just GONE...
What is really hard to see, is the businesses that look as though they've been frozen in time (and I guess in essence they have been) - cafe's and restaraunts with tables & umbrella's still outside, businesses with their 'open' signs still showing, businesses advertising a sale that was on at the time of the quake, or a sale which was starting soon after. It really is like life is frozen in time... someone pushed the 'pause' button.
Possibly the hardest buildings to look at - are the buildings that are no longer there, because you know that there is a huge likelihood people lost their lives in the buildings that once stood. I find it impossible to not cry when I see the site of the CTV building, I believe 116 people died in that paritcular building - people from our local TV station (CTV), people from an English language school, people from a doctors surgery which moved in there after damage to their original building because of a big aftershock on boxing day. That doctors surgery is the one that my Dad was a patient of. It is the one my Dad had had an appointment at, and left 20 minutes before the quake hit.
My Dad is alive & kicking - just as Dad-ish as ever, but I cannot for the life of me, stop wondering what would have happened had he actually been caught in the building on that day. Would he have gotten out? Chances are he wouldn't have. In the same way I think that, I can only imagine that people who did lose loved ones in the quake, spend time wondering what would have happened if their Mother/Father/Sister/Brother/friend had had a later appointment, or an earlier appointment, had an earlier or later lunch break, had plans to meet someone earlier or later.... There are so many what ifs - on both sides of the fence, those who experienced the loss of a loved one, and those who didn't.
Of course damage & devestation weren't limited to the CBD - all over the city there are buildings destroyed, lives destroyed - many such examples are in my own suburb of Avonside. The name is part of the reason why. Avon Side. the Avon is a river that runs through Christchurch - and my suburb is very close to the river, to the point that there are houses along the banks. Because we are so close to this body of water, our land is softer - and driving through my suburb there are a lot of houses which now have a big lean on. From my driveway I can see one such house, which is now leaning so far to the right, it is touching the house next door. In the other direction there are 4 houses which have also been red stickered - and those houses are leaning slightly to the left or right - but also leaning forward, so the front of the houses are sunken into their front yard. These houses are very close to the river. Driving further along the river I noticed a group of houses - I would say at least 10, closer to 15 - and ALL of those houses also have their fronts sunken into the ground, again they are right on the river. There are also a lot of streets you just cannot drive along - they've been closed for 3 months now.
I've decided I'm going to get a tattoo as a bit of a symbol of the earthquake - it made a huge mark on me & my city - so why not actually physically MAKE a mark? I am the type of person who cannot push influential events to the back of my mind - I have tattoo's for my nephew & my angels, I have a tattoo for my Grandfathers who have passed away - I have a tattoo for Gaby (and will soon have one for Emersyn)... this earthquake has made as much of an impact on my life, though in different ways - so it feels just to me, to get a tattoo. I believe a lot of people in Christchurch have done the same thing, or plan to.
When thinking about the aftermath of the earthquake, one phrase comes to mind - one phrase that has been the glue that has held our damaged community together, a phrase which as given us the strength to look forward. KIA KAHA. Kia Kaha, when translated from Maori to English means 'Be Strong' - which seems very apt when thinking about our situation. I recently took my first walk through the CBD - as far as I could anyway, and at the cordon I burst into tears, on the corner there used to stand a tattoo parlour - where I had two of my tattoo's done, on the day of the quake the building crumbled, and when running outside, one of the tattoo artists was killed, by falling masonry. All along that stretch of buildings there is nothing but devestation, however on the fence, someone had used ribbon to spell the words 'Kia Kaha'... it was so moving to see - our words of empowerment, and the backdrop of the devestation
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| Kia Kaha Christchurch, we will Rise Up |
March 18, 2011
"... and those of you without faith"
Five small words that are making me reflect and feel a little defensive today... 'those of you without faith'. The words were spoken (often) by a bishop who was speaking at the national memorial service today, for the victims of the February 22nd earthquake. Obviously being a bishop, she was talking a lot about god & religion in relation to the earthquake mainly why it happened & how people are coping with the aftermath.
Being that I am NOT religious, a lot of what she said didn't apply to me, and I didn't agree with, or believe - but I also understand that EVERYONE has different beliefs, and in times of immense stress & trauma people do tend to embrace their personal beliefs (religious or otherwise), so it didn't bother me.... but her frequent referral to 'those of you without faith' REALLY did get to me.
No - I'm not religious, BUT that does NOT mean that I DON'T have faith. I do have faith - a LOT of it! I have faith in myself & my family, faith in humanity & the goodness that lies in [most] everyone. Just because my faith isn't 'from above' doesn't mean that it doesn't exist, nor does it mean that it isn't as strong as someone elses.
I do know that emotions are all a bit heightened now, and that the bishop didn't mean what she said with any malice, BUT it did strike a chord with me, and it is something I've been thinking about ever since. Perhaps had she said "those of you without RELIGION"?
At the end of the day, as I see it faith isn't something that is exclusive to those who are religious.
Being that I am NOT religious, a lot of what she said didn't apply to me, and I didn't agree with, or believe - but I also understand that EVERYONE has different beliefs, and in times of immense stress & trauma people do tend to embrace their personal beliefs (religious or otherwise), so it didn't bother me.... but her frequent referral to 'those of you without faith' REALLY did get to me.
No - I'm not religious, BUT that does NOT mean that I DON'T have faith. I do have faith - a LOT of it! I have faith in myself & my family, faith in humanity & the goodness that lies in [most] everyone. Just because my faith isn't 'from above' doesn't mean that it doesn't exist, nor does it mean that it isn't as strong as someone elses.
I do know that emotions are all a bit heightened now, and that the bishop didn't mean what she said with any malice, BUT it did strike a chord with me, and it is something I've been thinking about ever since. Perhaps had she said "those of you without RELIGION"?
At the end of the day, as I see it faith isn't something that is exclusive to those who are religious.
March 6, 2011
Evacuees and refugees are we
The girls & I are officially classed as 'refugees' or 'evacuees' now, due to the fact we are 'temporarily displaced' from our home, because of the earthquake. The quake hit 11 days ago & my area is still without water, power & sewerage, so we are still camped out with my parents - to be honest I think I'd sooner be here than at home, because I need a little support to get through all this. It's tough being strong for the girls (mainly Gaby), when I am not really feeling all that strong - I have become really good at faking it, making Gaby think everything is fine and dandy, and this is just a fun little 'sleepover' at Nan & Poppas. Of course she knows what has happeend, but I don't want her to see me being weak - not that there'd really be anything wrong with that...
I guess I just want my Mummy & Daddy, as much as Gaby wants her Mummy.
Gaby won't let me out of her sight, and she cries when either of my parents leave for work - it's really hard to see... she doesn't know of anyone who died in the quake (well, not at the moment, and I hope that's how it stay), but it's almost like she can sense the enormity of the loss of life, and I guess she is afraid it's going to happen again - to one of us. It is 'nice' to feel so loved and needed, but it is at the point now that she refuses to go to her fathers, which isn't something I want - as much as he irritates me, I still want Gaby to have a good relationship with him, and to spend time with him when she can. Perhaps if she won't go tomorrow, I'll suggest he comes here and takes her to the park for a couple of hours or something... I don't know...
As I said in my initial post-quake blog post, my niece has finally arrived - and she is a little beauty! I love saying her name, because I think it's so beautiful - Bronte is a name I'd have loved to use for either girl, but I knew neither of their fathers would have gone for it... so I'm very happy my sister got the chance to use the name. I cannot wait to meet her, but I have no idea when that will happen - I don't want to crowd my sister by taking my whole gang to stay with her, especially with Emersyn still not being a great night sleeper... I guess it'll happen soon enough!
I guess I just want my Mummy & Daddy, as much as Gaby wants her Mummy.
Gaby won't let me out of her sight, and she cries when either of my parents leave for work - it's really hard to see... she doesn't know of anyone who died in the quake (well, not at the moment, and I hope that's how it stay), but it's almost like she can sense the enormity of the loss of life, and I guess she is afraid it's going to happen again - to one of us. It is 'nice' to feel so loved and needed, but it is at the point now that she refuses to go to her fathers, which isn't something I want - as much as he irritates me, I still want Gaby to have a good relationship with him, and to spend time with him when she can. Perhaps if she won't go tomorrow, I'll suggest he comes here and takes her to the park for a couple of hours or something... I don't know...
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| Introducing the beautiful Bronte Ameka McWhirter |
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