since there's no place to go.. let it snow...

As of around 10pm last night, we officially have snow - for once the weather forecast was right.

the snow at midnight

We had some little sleet showers on and off all day, and then I checked outside at one point and there had been a little flurry, I hoped that wasn't all we would get though... Emersyn woke up at midnight, I looked outside and WE HAD SNOW....  It looked beautiful, and even though it was 'dark' outside, it still looked pretty light because of all the glorious snow that had fallen.  I took some photos incase it disappeared before the morning and Gaby missed out on seeing it - and in the end I woke her up and told her to look outside, so at least if it did disappear, she could say she'd seen the snow on the ground

Gaby's first proper time in the snow

I was almost too scared to look outside this morning, incase there wasn't any snow left, but mother nature for once had been kind to Christchurch, and had delivered us more snow.  I am not sure if I was more excited, or if Gaby was - but either way we got wrapped up nice and warm and went outside for our first little excursion in the snow... It's the first time Gaby has been in snow properly, so it was quite an exciting little first - and you couldn't take the grin off of her face.  Admittedly my grin was rather prominent as well.  I grew up in Twizel, where we got snow a few times a winter, and usually a decent fall - but here in Christchurch we are at sea level and it is rare to get snow - even rarer to get snow that settles.  Gaby had conveniently left her gloves in the car, so it gave us an excuse to take a little walk around the section too.  Naturally Gaby picked up the snow with her bare hands, though I told her not to - she soon learnt just how cold snow is. 

Gaby and 'Lily'

Emersyn just so happens to be sick - and I'm hoping it won't get to the extent that we need to see the doctor - because there is no way we could GET to the doctor...  The roads are all pretty treacherous and my car is kind of stuck in it's parking spot.  Because Emersyn is sick, all she wants to do is sleep, so when I put her down for her first nap, Gaby and I headed outside to make a snowman... actually, her name is Lily - and she is a snow woman.  It was the first time I have made a snowman/woman by myself, and I wouldn't say I am any good, but Gaby was pleased with the results, so that's really what matters.. not my lack of skills.

The snow continues to fall, but it is meant to stop at some point this afternoon - which will be good, as much as I love the snow, I don't want it to get to the point that it turns frozen, and takes forever to go away.  But while it's still here, it's something fun for me and Gaby to do, and a bit of a novelty at the same time.

me and my little snow bunny

 

Sisterly love...

Sisters meeting for the first time

Emersyn went to spend the night with her father at midday on Saturday... Sunday morning Gaby went to spend the day with her father - and by the time she got back on Sunday, Emersyn was home and in bed asleep..... This morning when Gaby went in to see Emersyn after she'd woken up, all I heard on the baby monitor was this almighty squeeealllllllll from Emersyn, and Gaby giggling saying "yes Emmy I'm happy to see you - hahaha stop cuddling me"...  It was music to my ears.

Six months into their sisterly love

I love watching their relationship develop, especially now that Emersyn is getting bigger/older and is getting to the point she can interact with Gaby, rather than be a bystander.  If she's tired she cuddles up to Gaby - and usually I get tears in my eyes, because it is such a sweet sight... you can REALLY see the love that they feel for each other.  I KNOW that soon enough there will be fighting and lots of "I hate you" being yelled by both of them, but I hope that in those times, I can think back to THESE times, and relive all these cute moments.

My little lovies having a cuddle in Mummy's bed

I think back to my sister - we had some horrendous fights as kids, but it seemed that as soon as it was out of our system, we were back to plotting against our cousins, or Mum and Dad... or whichever school friend had upset us that day.  I hope that when my girls are our age they have a close relationship like we do.....

There is something so special about the bond between two sisters.  I am just glad my girls will be able to experience it :)

My... how fast they grow

I never actually made a blog post about Emersyn turning 1 - and it happened 3 weeks ago now... Oooops.  On June 13 - true to form, we had two big aftershocks [5.5 and 6.3] - both of them I was in the car, and SEEING the earthquake actually happening really did scare the sh.t out of me, and after the second quake,  I decided that was that - we were heading out of town.

the birthday girl, after her 6am bath

So began our whirlwind - puke filled, ear infected, car sickness-ee 5 day getaway, which I hate to say really took the shine off it being Emersyn's first birthday.  The day we drove to Wanaka Emersyn vomitted in the car, the day before her birthday she woke up with a raging ear infection, the morning OF her birthday she woke up covered in vomit and diarrhoea... so really it wasn't a memorable [in a good way] birthday for her.  That said, I did get to share the birthday girl with her Great Grandma and her Aunty Terri and cousin Bronny - so it did have its highlights.  She started getting better the day before we left to go home, but then on the trip home Gaby was carsick for the very first time.  Did I mention it was all in our NEW car?

Mummy's first cuddle with little Emmy-boo

As lovely as it was seeing all our family down that way it was nice to get home, and strangely I have to admit that I MISSED Christchurch while we were away.  With all the footage on the news about the recent big aftershocks, there wasn't really a chance to 'get away' from the quakes, and all the distance really served to do, was make me feel guilty that I had 'run away', when there were sooooo many people up here cleaning up for the third time.  The streets were full of liquifaction - it really was horrible.  Seeing it on the news just made me feel sad.

Mummy and her not-so-little Emmy-boo at 1yo

The past year has gone by so fast - I think that by the time  I got out of the 'newborn fog', the September earthquake happened, and ever since then the earth has been regularly shaking and our lives have been turned upside down at times.  In a way I feel like I missed a lot of Emersyn's first year - I was so focused on other things a lot of the time, that I don't feel like I took the time to enjoy the small things.  But on the other hand - my thousands of photos of her first year tend to tell a different story.

Me and BOTH of my 'babies'

 

we are family.... [an itti bitti family]

My sister has started using Bitti Tutto diapers on my niece, Bronte - and I finally got to have a proper play with them, last week when I had the honour of babysitting Bronny for the first time.  She - of course, was a total dream and if anything my own children were tougher... there was a rocky moment or two when Emersyn and Bronte both decided to reach fever-pitch with their crying, at the same time.

OF COURSE, being the clothaholic - and ittibittiaholic that I am, I couldn't resist putting the girls in their matching coloured Itti Bitti's [I have to confess that I had packed all of Emersyn's Itti Bittis, that I knew Bronte had the same colour of] in order to take their first matching-diaper photo.

It happened to be during the rocky moments I mentioned above - neither girl was in a great mood, but nevertheless here is the photo of the Itti Bitti cousins....

Emersyn in her D'Lish and Bronte in her Tutto

Rockin' her yellow Tutto

and just because I can, here is a photo of Bronte in her beautiful yellow Tutto [of which Emersyn has one in the same colour].  It was lovely to see both girls rocking the minky - but also doing their part for the environment, at such young ages.  Of course neither of them realise the impact they are having - but all the same, I think it's sweet.  I look at these luscious, soft, vibrant, utterly beautiful diapers, and feel so so happy that I made the decision to start using cloth... and that my darling baby sister eventually came to the 'dark but fluffy side' too

11 months old!

Emersyn is 11 months old today!  I honestly do not know where the past almost-a-year has gone - I know that all parents say that, but I really truly mean it!  I sincerely thought that time with Emersyn would go a bit slower, because it was my second time around & I know what I'm doing - and am not quite so impatient about her hitting all the milestones.

But no....  The first month or so went slowly, but each month since has gone faster and faster and faster - and I have a feeling it'll continue to do so.  I guess I kind of 'lost' two months after the February earthquake, where our routine was thrown totally out the window, it was somewhat like living in limbo, for those two months we spent living with my parents...  Emersyn had just turned 8mo when the quake hit - and we moved home after she'd turned 10mo.

I am amazed at how quickly she is starting to reach milestones now, it felt for a long time that she wasn't meeting any new milestones, and I was actually pretty worried about her.  I guess it started when we'd been at my parents for about 2 weeks, all of a sudden she started commando crawling, she began sitting herself up, she began saying Mama & becoming more vocal.  Just before we left she crawled 'properly' for the first time - though she still preferred commando crawling, and just within the last week has begun crawling 'full time', rather than doing the commando crawl, she's started making a lot of new sounds & saying 'bubba' - which she seemed to know was a word for my 11w/o niece when they were up over the weekend - and she also said 'Gabba' for the first time, which was an obvious form of 'Gaby'....  Just yesterday she started getting on her knees and trying to pull herself up on EVERYTHING, not just the couch & TV cabinet like she's been doing up until now.

My baby is leaving her baby days behind & is gearing up for those amazing 2 years that are toddlerdom... Part of me isn't ready for my baby to become a toddler, but the other part of me is so excited for the firsts & the changes that are ahead for her.  I remember I loved the 1st year with Gaby, but each year after that seemed to be more and more exciting and awe-inspiring, because she changed from a baby/toddler to a 'real' person & really became her own person...

I really am done. Wow.

I had a tubal ligation when I had Emersyn - mainly due to pregnancy anxiety issues & knowing deep down that I can't put myself (or the girls) through another pregnancy. Although I KNEW it was the right thing to do, I did feel a little that I'd probably regret it on some level, but 9 months down the track I have never felt more confident that I made the right decision for myself & my girls.

When Gaby was Emersyn's age, all I wanted for her was a little sibling - I so badly wanted to be pregnant and to add to my family - I think I had 'baby fever' by the time Gaby was 3 months old.  But this time?  When I try to imagine Emersyn (and Gaby) having a little sister (or brother) - I just can't get the image, and I don't get the little lurch of yearning that I used to prior to Emersyn arriving... thinking of my family, I cannot imagine anything other than my two girls.

Of course another baby would be NICE, but that's all it'd be - NICE... not something I REALLY like, and now when talking to my sister about my (gorgeous!) niece and all the early-days problems they've had, all I can think is "god I never want to go through that again".  I don't know if that makes me sound heartless - I love babies, I love being a Mum, but I think I just know now that *I* am well and truly done.  I am happy & content with it just being the 3 of us - and if it does eventually become a 4 of us (ie I find a man or woman to share my life with), I'm not adverse to the idea of adopting, or fostering - but I also know that I am just as happy with my two little girlies.

It's strange when I think about it, because I have always so so so badly wanted to be pregnant, wanted a big family - so to be able to say "yes, I'm done", "no I don't want more children" - it is just so unexpected... if someone asked me 4 years ago - heck even a year ago, how many children I wanted to have, my answer would have been "4 or 5".... THREE at the least.  But here I am with two beautiful girls & I know that this is how I want it to be for me.

That said.. I do think that if my pregnancy anxiety wasn't such an issue, I wouldn't be done yet - so I guess it goes to show that I'm learning to listen to my gut & to concentrate on what is best for me.  Between my daughers & my niece, there is more than enough love & cuteness in the world!

Evacuees and refugees are we

The girls & I are officially classed as 'refugees' or 'evacuees' now, due to the fact we are 'temporarily displaced' from our home, because of the earthquake.  The quake hit 11 days ago & my area is still without water, power & sewerage, so we are still camped out with my parents - to be honest I think I'd sooner be here than at home, because I need a little support to get through all this.  It's tough being strong for the girls (mainly Gaby), when I am not really feeling all that strong - I have become really good at faking it, making Gaby think everything is fine and dandy, and this is just a fun little 'sleepover' at Nan & Poppas.  Of course she knows what has happeend, but I don't want her to see me being weak - not that there'd really be anything wrong with that...

I guess I just want my Mummy & Daddy, as much as Gaby wants her Mummy.

Gaby won't let me out of her sight, and she cries when either of my parents leave for work - it's really hard to see... she doesn't know of anyone who died in the quake (well, not at the moment, and I hope that's how it stay), but it's almost like she can sense the enormity of the loss of life, and I guess she is afraid it's going to happen again - to one of us.  It is 'nice' to feel so loved and needed, but it is at the point now that she refuses to go to her fathers, which isn't something I want - as much as he irritates me, I still want Gaby to have a good relationship with him, and to spend time with him when she can.  Perhaps if she won't go tomorrow, I'll suggest he comes here and takes her to the park for a couple of hours or something... I don't know...

Introducing the beautiful Bronte Ameka McWhirter

As I said in my initial post-quake blog post, my niece has finally arrived - and she is a little beauty!  I love saying her name, because I think it's so beautiful - Bronte is a name I'd have loved to use for either girl, but I knew neither of their fathers would have gone for it... so I'm very happy my sister got the chance to use the name.  I cannot wait to meet her, but I have no idea when that will happen - I don't want to crowd my sister by taking my whole gang to stay with her, especially with Emersyn still not being a great night sleeper... I guess it'll happen soon enough!